Pokies and Slot Machine Information

Slap a slot machine - or a player

May 20, 2006 on 4:29 pm | In Slot machine overviews |

Some slot machines have very annoying habits. The most annoying one which comes to mind (besides losing money to them) is the way some machines force you to wait for the first 30 seconds or so of a payout whilst they play a merry tune.

Most slots allow you to over-ride by pressing spin again, but there are a minority which force you to wait while payouts tick over. This seems to occur mainly during free game features. Perhaps its legally mandated, but in that case, all machines should do it - not just an annoying minority.

Slapping the machine might make you feel better - but we don’t recommend it. The venue might just decide to slap you and then remove you from the premises.

Some slot machine players also deserve a slap from time to time. You know the ones:

Lurkers - those folks who wait around peering over your shoulder to see how much you win or lose. Some are subtle, others actually dribble on your clothing as they get too close.

Octopusses - as the name implies - those folks who insist on playing as many machines as they can reach out to with their hands, feet or other supplemental bodily appendages. During busy periods in venues, it can be hard enough to find a favourite machine to play. These multi-machiners may take three or four of the most popular models and play them all at once.

Talkers - talking to a neighbour at your chosen slot machine is ok, but not when they talk at you 90 miles an hour. This is especially annoying when you are losing and just want to be left alone to sulk.

Bumpers - these are the folks who just can’t walk past your chair without bumping it. A slot machine players aisle may be 2 feet wide, or 10 feet - they’ll still knock your chair.

Blockers - related to the multi-machiners, blockers will sit in front of a poker machine and not play it. They may be there to talk to an adjacent friend, or just be sending psychic messages to the machine to get it to pay better next time, but either way they’re not there to play. They usually pick your favourite machine to block.

Chimneys - lots of pokies players smoke at machines - at least until its banned (as in Queensland, from July 2006). Chimneys are those players who take a puff and then aggressively blow their smoke at you. They seem to wait until you are at your most vulnerable - like when you are cleaning your contact lenses, or grooming your cat.

Racers - you know the feeling, you’ve seen your favourite slot machine and are walking over anxiously to insert your hard won dollars. Suddenly you look up and your eyes meet with a racer. You are 10 feet from the machine, they may be up to 1 mile away. You know they are going to try and beat you to the machine, but you choose to maintain your dignity and walk casually. They run, pushing punters aside left and right, causing mayhem in their quest to beat you there. They usually win the race and you silently grumble.

Remoras - the worst of all, and related to the lurkers. Remoras watch discreetly across an array of machines, singling out players who haven’t had free games or a nice win. They wait until you run out of funds and pounce on your machine hoping to garner the free spins you just couldn’t win.

There may well be more player types to explore in later posts. Feel free to let us know any you have encountered.

Once again we don’t recommend actually slapping anyone from the above categories, its quite an anti-social thing to go around doing to people. Wait until you get outside, and slap a tree instead.