Kids Letters

[Sue]

Some letters written from Sunday School kids to God:

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane

Dear God,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?" Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla

Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy

Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? - Anita

Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma

Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil

Dear God,
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce

Dear God,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. - Denise

Dear God,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. - Danny

Dear God,
Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. - Rob

Dear God,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? - Marsha

Dear God,
If You watch me in Church Sunday. I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey D.

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[Annsheree]

ROTF Love them sue, maybe i got a weird sense of humour but i got lotsa giggles outta the girrafe one /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Take care
Ann

[Annsheree]

What mom and dad have in commom?
Both dont want no more kids! (lori aged 8)

How to tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess based on wether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. (eddie age 6)

Good advice about love
"Tell your wife she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck" (ricky age 7)
"Be a good kisser, it might make your wife forget you dont take out the trash" (erin age 8)

[Sue]

Well done Ann very funny /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smoke.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smoke.gif

[Sue]

Just a little mental gymnastics for the group.

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he
noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the
fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought,
"Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining
the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll
just wait 'till this is over then ask him if he has
any questions."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his
son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast
was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

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[Spyone1 (Greg)]

LOVE IT SUE!!!!!!

Rolled around all over the place laughing. Reminded me of Police Academy....

[Annsheree]

ROTF sue you crack me up!

>>>>An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

>>>>A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..."Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later...Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

>>>> If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two and keep away from the children."
>>>>The quickest way to get any kid's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

[una]

ROTF LMHO /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif (rolling on the floor, laughing my head off) /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/dance.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/dance.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/dance.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/dance.gif
VERY VERY FUNNY GUYS!!!!!!

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

Ouch. I laughed until my sides hurt.

I can just see my son doing the one about the drink too!!!

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

Apparently true story...

Teacher is reading "The Three Little Pigs" to a class. She gets to the bit about the first pig buying some straw.
Quote:
Teacher: "He goes up to the man with the barrow full of straw and says "Excuse me mister, but can I buy some straw please?" And what do you think the man said?"

Student (jumps out of his seat).."I know miss, my daddy tells me this story all the time. The man says "Bloody hell, a talking pig".

Apparently the teacher couldn't continue the class for about five minutes.

[Sue]

Out of the mouth of Babes hehehehe

[Sue]

Better to be safe than.......................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the ...............................bug is close.
It's always darkest before..................Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of.......termites.
You can lead a horse to water but......how?
Don't bite the hand that......................looks dirty.
No news is........................................impossib le.
A miss is as good as a.......................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new...........math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll............stink in the morning.
Love all, trust......................................me.
The pen is mightier than the.................pigs.
An idle mind is....................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's................pollution
Happy the bride who............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is.................................not much.
Two's company, three's........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...............you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as....................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not............spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed....................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you....see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind.............get out of the way.
Better late than......................................pregnant !!!!

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[Sue]

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached
a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."


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[Sue]

Definitely


Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."

Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:

"Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK...then I DEFINITELY s**t my pants..."

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[Buttonpusher]

That's terrrible Sue laughing at a poor little fellow like that /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3rofl3.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3rofl3.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3rofl3.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3rofl3.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3rofl3.gif