Some abstract humour for this week!!!!

[Sue]

Why did the boy fall off the bike?
Because somebody threw a fridge at him

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

Why did the man cry?
because some rioters beat him with a large stick.


Sorry folks, but it takes all sorts. Ah well...... /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Petals]

How do you make a Sausage Roll?
Push it!!

What happens when you pull a Guinea Pig's tail?
It's eyes pop out (let me know if you don't understand this one!!).

[Sue]

Well Blossom I am sure I dont know why, could you please explain. Another lady who likes abstract humour I see. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Sue]

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms

Why did the girl fall out of her treehouse?
Her father pushed her

Couple more /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Petals]

Guinea Pig's don't have tails!! I wouldn't have been cruel to animals!!

How about talking about movies and TV shows? I am no good with humour!! /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Sue]

I am glad you wouldnt have been cruel to animals Blossom, I am an animal lover from way back. You are doing just fine with humour, I do no good with TV never watch it. Its good to have some female company on this board. Bout time we give those guys a run for their money. They are nice blokes tho. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Petals]

Considering that there is a huge majority of women playing the pokies in the pubs, I am surprised no more women are chatting away like we do at the pubs!!

Must admit though, sitting here tonight I feel like cup of coffee after cup of coffee after cup of coffee. It is like sitting in a cafe chatting to friends about similar interests. Just wish I wouldn't keep thinking about cake and bickies to have with the coffees!!

Anyway, what three words exist that don't rhyme with anything?

[Sue]

Crickey Blossom, do you really expect me to try and answer that hard one when I have had a couple of Chards? Actually I did read the answers to that somewhere, but cant remember them now.
Must be old age hey!!!!!!!!

[Petals]

It is silver, purple and (I think) orange.

Don't you ever wonder how we would cope without the Internet!!?? Who invented it exactly? Also, what does LOL mean - I am confused when people put that in.

[Sue]

Well I can answer some of that. The rest may have to wait for the big boys.

LOL: laugh out loud, rofl: roll on the floor laughing
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[Petals]

Going off-line now - going to watch the insides of my eyelids.

Please take care everyone and speak to you another night.

[Sue]

Not nice advice!!!!!

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

This is from an article I read a number of years ago, so if it is wrong, sorry in advance....

The Internet was originally an internal computer linkage system used by the Department of Defence, USA. They then started using it for sending messages between various departments, and it grew from there.

Now, some expert come along and give the detailed version.. *grin*

[Sue]

Hi Greg, sorry no expert here just me. Sounds appropiate to me though. So cant disagree with you.
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[Sue]

Hey was that your abstract humour??????

hehehe /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shh.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shh.gif

[Admin1]

Sounds like AARPANET...

[Sue]

Does it Ahhhhhhhh

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

Dirty Joke...The boy fell in the mud
Clean Joke...He went and washed himself
Funny Joke...He fell in the mud again.

Blame my 7 yr old for that particular sequence.

[Petals]

Is this an experience humourous tale?

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

thankfully, no. She heard it at school.

How do you get an elephant up a tree??
Plant an acorn and wait for spring.

How do you get him back out of the tree??
Get him to stand on a leaf and wait for autumn..

[Annsheree]

5 Kinds of Sex

Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F**k you!"

Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the room.

i know pathetic but im bored so ya gotta put up with me HEHE /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Annsheree]

ok i had a blonde moment (sorry to any blondes lol)...just figured out what abstrat humour was and mine wasnt that ROTF.. hmm thinking ive had too many pain killers tonight head is in the clouds. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

Oh, I dunno. I imagine that Admin would wave his big stick at you (currently at the cleaners being polished, according to him) if you went too far overboard..

Painkillers....you okay??

[Sue]

. How Do You Catch A Unique bird?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

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[una]

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ROTFL
Keep em rolling Sue...
Your post's are very amusing..
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[Annsheree]

well greg i see i haven't been told off yet for putting a sex joke on here, but ill keep em clean or i know admin will go pick up his stick early to get me hehe.
painkillers...hmmm yeah im ok i guess, had surgery for bowel cancer, having more again soon, but yeah im okay there are alot more people worse off than me and my kids keep me positive /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif thanks for the concern greg... /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissing.gif
Ann

[Sue]

Ann /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/auto.gif is on its way bringing you good wishes and positive thoughts from me. Sorry to hear about your surgery, but you keep fighting the good fight hey.

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[Spyone1 (Greg)]

Didn't mean to pry, Ann. Just hope you are okay and keeping yourself as good as possible.

Don't forget, with ratbags like me around...not to mention nice people like Sue and Robbie, at least the humour is taken care of. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hurray.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hurray.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hurray.gif

[Annsheree]

THanks sue and greg. im doing okay, hanging in there and staying positive /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Oh and YES YES YES the humour is definately taken care of between you guys, i love it, definately brightens my night reading the boards here, keep it up guys /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hurray.gif
Ann

[Sue]

*blushing, blushing*

Is it ok if I pay you guys later?

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

LOL

Just keep up the chatting and posts and humour and we are more than amply repaid!!

*grin*

[Annsheree]

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ur not supposed to tell anyone! lol

Well im off to play some EDII then im off to bed, so nite all, hope you all have a great day tomorrow. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Ann

[Spyone1 (Greg)]

You too Ann.

Sleep well.

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[Sue]

Nite Ann. Catch you later.

[Sue]

Very naughty of me /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif I didnt say hello to Una, and thank you for your kind words. Nice to see you onboard, grab a chair and come and play. We are not very savage. There is just one or two amongst us who has big stick that is occasionally brought out if we get too rowdy. /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif /webboard/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif

[una]

[ QUOTE ]
Very naughty of me I didnt say hello to Una

[/ QUOTE ]
G'day Sue, (and all)
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Ive just been reading a few of the threads, VERY amusing I might add......
Its so worth visiting this site each day just to read everyones posts -Its good to see so many bubbly people...
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Cheers All
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